Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize