judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
