im drinking this country out of the recession.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
