He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I understand Curling. That high.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
