Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
