Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize