So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
