Ambien. No doubt about it.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
