Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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