I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
