she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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