Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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