I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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