But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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