I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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