We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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