I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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