Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
