Me too!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
