yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
God, I missed his penis.
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