HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
