we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
