Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
