tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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