She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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