Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
