i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
