I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm always down for nudity.
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