craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
