i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
