Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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