I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
