If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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