he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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