how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
