thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
