and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
