I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
