I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
