Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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