Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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