This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
