All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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