i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
