So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is Oprah even human
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
