Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
