OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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