hotel room ftw
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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