I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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