There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize