Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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