My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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