Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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