So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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