no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
