I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize