That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
